We need something to make us happy right now so I asked my digital pal Wired Al if we could collaborate on song that could get us tapping our toes. When oil starts moving and explanations start dancing, it’s usually time to listen to the music.

This week’s melody comes courtesy of calypso, a genre designed in places where power strutted in uninvited, taking what it wanted. That tradition runs straight through Harry Belafonte, whose cheerful songs were often about theft, betrayal and the kind of authority that laughs while picking your pocket.

Fast-forward to now, where foreign policy increasingly sounds like a real estate pitch delivered through a bullhorn. Venezuelan oil is rebranded as a strategic necessity. Greenland becomes a punch line that won’t die. Colombia and Mexico are name-checked the way middle managers talk about “synergy” – vaguely, loudly, and with complete confidence that someone else will clean it up. None of this is framed as conquest. It’s framed as leadership. Boss moves. Executive decisions made while the band plays on.

Which brings us to the song. Belafonte’s Matilda, which was a folk tale about a thief who ran off with the money. But theft, like everything else, has been promoted. Today it wears a suit, demands applause, and insists the chorus keep singing.

So sing along with Harry and Wired Al on the chorus of Boss Donald.

OPENING CHORUS

ALL (cheerful, loud):

Boss Donald … Boss Donald … Boss Donald
He take the oil and ran Venezuela.

Once again now!

Boss Donald …  Boss Donald … Boss Donald,
He take the oil and ran Venezuela

VERSE 1 — GOOD INTENTIONS

Five hundred slogans, friends, I lost:
“Energy freedom” – cheap words, high cost.

LEAD (grinning):
Boss Donald –

ALL:                                                         
He take the oil and ran Venezuela.

Everybody now ..

(Boss Donald!) Sing out the chorus!
(Boss Donald!) Sing a little louder!

ALL:
Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela

---

VERSE 2 — EMPIRE SHOPPING

Well, the oil was to buy  “strength and pride,”
A house, a flag, a border wide.

Said, “Trust me, friends, I have a plan,”
Then waved a pen, said, “Watch out,  Iran.”

ALL:
Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela

---

GREENLAND BREAK (classic calypso aside)

CROWD (shouting):
Can we have Greenland?

LEAD (matter-of-fact):
Not for sale.

ALL (right back to melody):
Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela.

---

VERSE 3 — LEGAL MAGIC

Well, the oil was just inside our bed,
In “strategic reserves,” the lawyers said.

Buried deep in a footnote thread—
Stamped temporary, signed, unread.

LEAD:
Don’t you know—

ALL:
Boss Donald, he found the oil and…

EVERYBODY:
Ran Venezuela!

---

RHYTHM CHANT

(Boss Donald!) Oom-ba-locka-chimba!
(Boss Donald!) Bring me talking points!

Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela

VERSE 4 — CONSEQUENCES, MINIMIZED

Well, me friends, never to ask again,
All me norms gone down the drain.

He may want Mexico, too.
Colombia: We’re watching you.

ALL:
Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela

FINAL BUILD (soft → loud)

ALL (soft):
Boss Donald…
Boss Donald…
Boss Donald…

He take the oil and ran Venezuela.

Sing it softer now…

Boss Donald, Boss Donald, Boss Donald,
he take the oil and ran Venezuela

---

BIG FINISH

EVERYBODY (full voice):
Boss Donald ,… sing out the chorus!
Boss Donald, he take the oil and ran Venezuela!

CROWD (last shout):
Can we have Greenland?

LEAD
Still not for sale.

BAND CRASH. END.

Of course, you music historians know that calypso didn’t start as entertainment. It started as information, originating in Trinidad and Tobago in the 18th and 19th centuries among enslaved Africans. When colonial authorities banned drums and restricted speech, people did what humans always do under pressure: they found another channel. Rhythm replaced the drum. Melody replaced the shout. Lyrics carried news, warnings, insults and political commentary in plain sight, disguised as song.

And it’s appropriate today because Trinidad and Tobago are the southernmost Caribbean nations, just off the Venezuelan coast.

Perfectly placed to see empire coming before it arrived.

Boss Donald …  he take the oil and ran Venezuela.

(Chat GPT-5 produced the illustration and collaborated on the column.)