This picture was worth 1,000 words … or at least enough for an Al InCognito column:
Three kids — two boys and a girl, ages 9 to 12 — zip-tied outside a courthouse in San Antonio. Their wrists bound like they’d stole state secrets, not shown up for a legal hearing they didn’t understand. One had a backpack. One had no shoelaces. None had a lawyer.
And I thought: Summer camp.
Not real summer camp, of course. Not the kind with bug spray and canoes and that one weird counselor who always brought his guitar to lunch. No, this was the kind of “camp” designed by people who call January 6 a “Capitol tour” and believe waterboarding builds character.
The kind of folks who look at a zip-tied 12-year-old and think: Junior’s learning responsibility!
They probably hand out merit badges for “Failure to Appear” and “Looking Suspiciously Honduran.”
Welcome to Campa Gestapa™ — America’s hottest new summer program, where kids are encouraged to flee violence, then punished for surviving.
Imagine the camp brochure:
Camp Rules:
No Parents Allowed: Unless they’re being deported with you. Family separation is so 2018; now we do family detentions.
No Legal Representation: Lawyers are like sunscreen — unnecessary and frowned upon.
No Volleyball: Seriously, you might get arrested if you even go there; ask Marcelo Gomes.
Activities
Arts & Crafts: Create your own I-94 bracelet using genuine zip ties. Just like the San Antonio kids — future felons, obviously.
Storytime: Campers gather ‘round the fire as ICE agents read from the U.S. Immigration and Nationality Act. Spoiler alert: Everyone gets deported in the end, no matter what the Supreme Court says.
Medical Mystery Hour: Guess who’s the kid with cancer! Bonus points if you can identify the child deported without meds.
Deportation Dodgeball: Where the balls are metaphors for due process, and you’re always out.
Borderline Bingo: Match kids to countries they haven’t seen in years!
MAGA Indoctrination Bonfire: Sing patriotic hymns while Counselor Cletus reads aloud from The Art of the Deal.
And everyone’s favorite…
Hide and Seek:
A camp classic! Except you’re always “it,” and ICE agents are the ones hiding — in plain clothes, outside immigration courts, ready to scoop you up post-hearing. Remember how we used to shout “Ollie ollie oxen free!” to say it was safe to come out?
Not here.
Here, it means: We already got your mom.
Fun linguistic fact: not surprisingly, some say the phrase comes from the German “alle, alle auch sind frei” — “all, all, also are free.”
Yeah. That tracks.
And I’m sure the camp songs are fun,
My favorite as a kid was a little ditty by the great Allan Sherman.
It’s still a hit, but the lyrics may have changed:
Campa Gestapa (To the tune of “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah”)
Where’s my momma? Where’s my papa? I’m all alone now at Camp Gestapa.
ICE told me I would get some recreation, Instead they threatened me with early deportation.
Take me home, oh, Momma, Papa!
Take me home, I hate Gestapa!
Don’t leave me in the cages where
Kids vanish like we’re never there.
Even the music has stopped being funny.
But all the unhappy campers at Gestapa can take comfort from the words of wisdom from Counselor Joni Ernst:
“Well, we’re all going to die.”
ChatGPT 4.0 contributed to the writing and editing of his column and the illustration.
Just when you think we’ve reached peak parody, President Trump finds a way to add English subtitles to Triumph of the Will and call it immigration reform.
This week, his administration granted refugee status — yes, I said, REFUGEE STATUS — to 59 white South Africans. Apparently, they’re fleeing racial discrimination, land redistribution, and the unbearable hardship of not being in charge for five full minutes.
Let’s be clear: America has rejected pregnant Honduran women, Afghan allies, and climate refugees who had the audacity to float here on doors. But give us your pale, your privileged, your subtly sunburned yearning to feel relevant again — and we’ll fire up the welcome committee faster than you can say “reverse racism.”
This isn’t just immigration policy. It’s cosplay for colonizers.
Forget asylum seekers from war-torn regions. We’ve got a new standard:
Do you speak Afrikaans?
Do you miss “the good old days” when your driveway was longer than your neighbor’s lifespan?
Do you have a family crest, but no Wi-Fi?
“Congratulations. You’re now a victim.”
And don’t be surprised if next week we open the floodgates for:
A lost colony of Nazis from Patagonia
Confederate holdouts from Brazil
Or the original cast of Friends, seeking sanctuary from diversity
Because this isn’t about helping the oppressed — it’s about helping the dispossessed gentry.
The tantrum class.
The people who think Cry, the Beloved Country was too hard on the landowners.
Maybe we can fly them here on Trump’s new ride: a $400 million luxury jet from Qatar with nine bathrooms, including several bidets. A gift, a loan, a bribe? Who knows. But it’s big enough to carry a full choir of white grievance and still have room for a tanning bed and an indictment printer.
And yes, Qatar. Spelled with a Q that doesn’t even need a U. Just like Trump, these people are too rich to follow the rules, too fragile to be questioned.
What’s next? A South African resettlement office in Boca Raton? A Boer burger franchise? A MAGA safari in the Ozarks?
Of course, we’ve already granted asylum, or sainthood, to the biggest white South African of them all: Elon Musk.
He fled the oppression of apartheid-era emerald mines to bring us flamethrowers, Dogecoin, and a social media platform so broken that users say they’d rather buy a newspaper. He’s living proof that if you arrive early enough, buy a few billion-dollar companies, and name your children after algebra problems — we’ll not only let you stay, we’ll treat you like a prophet.
So maybe this is the new immigration policy:
Give us your moguls, your memelords, your minor Bond villains.
Especially if they’re white, rich, and deeply misunderstood by “woke science.”
Because under Trump, refugee status doesn’t mean you were in danger, it just means you missed being in charge.
And nothing says crisis like having to share the country club.
Actions taken by the Trump administration in 2025 and the policy recommendations outlined in Project 2025: Mandate for Leadership, compiled by ChatGPT using “All of the Trump Administration’s Major Moves” and “Project 2025: Mandate for Leadership,” a 900-page document compiled by dozens of Trump loyalists through the Heritage Foundation.
1.Federal Workforce Reduction
Trump Administration Action:
Ordered mass firings at the Pentagon, laying off 5,400 civilian workers.
Directed plans for large-scale federal workforce cuts, expanding Elon Musk’s authority over hiring decisions.
Laid off thousands of employees across multiple agencies, including the IRS, Education Department, and USAID.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Advocates for reducing the size of the federal government and curbing the administrative state.
Calls for appointing personnel aligned with conservative values to implement these reductions.
Source: Chapter 18, Dept. of Labor and Related Agencies
2.Restructuring USAID
Trump Administration Action:
Fired thousands of USAID employees and moved to dismantle the agency.
Put Secretary of State Marco Rubio in charge of USAID, signaling a shift in its mission.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Criticizes USAID as an overly bureaucratic agency that should be restructured or eliminated
Source: Chapter 9, Agency for International Development.
3. Rolling Back Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Initiatives
Trump Administration Action:
Ordered the removal of pronouns from federal employee email signatures.
Ended race-based programs in education.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for dismantling DEI programs across government institutions and schools.
Source: Chapter 18, Department of Labor and Related Agencies
4. Immigration and Border Policy
Trump Administration Action:
Revoked deportation protections for Venezuelans.
Transported migrants to Guantánamo Bay.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Advocates for stricter border security and detention policies.
Source: Chapter 5, Department of Homeland Security
5. Trade and Tariffs
Trump Administration Action:
Imposed 25% tariffs on steel and aluminum.
Announced new “reciprocal” tariffs based on foreign trade practices.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for aggressive trade policies to counter foreign economic threats.
Source: Chapter 26, Trade
6. Health Policy Changes
Trump Administration Action:
Blocked funds for biomedical research.
Ordered the Health Department to scrutinize vaccine schedules and psychiatric medications.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for re-evaluating funding for health programs, particularly those linked to progressive policies.
Source: Chapter 14, Department of Health and Human Services
7. Reshaping the Intelligence Community and Law Enforcement
Trump Administration Action:
Planned a purge of FBI employees involved in January 6 investigations.
Appointed a right-wing commentator as FBI deputy director.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Suggests replacing FBI and intelligence officials with personnel aligned with conservative priorities.
Source: Chapter 5, Department of Homeland Security
8. Judiciary and DOJ Restructuring
Trump Administration Action:
Purged FBI officials involved in January 6 investigations.
Appointed a right-wing commentator as FBI deputy director.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for eliminating “politicized” officials in the FBI and DOJ, particularly those associated with previous investigations into Trump.
Source: Chapter 17, Department of Justice
9. Government Overhaul and Presidential Power Expansion
Trump Administration Action:
Issued an executive order expanding presidential control over independent agencies.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Proposes increasing presidential power over executive agencies, reducing the independence of institutions like the Federal Reserve and FTC.
Source: Chapter 2, Executive Office of the President
10.Climate and Energy Policy
Trump Administration Action:
Approved oil drilling in protected areas.
Withdrew from international climate agreements.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Advocates for revoking Biden-era climate policies and reinstating Trump’s energy dominance agenda.
Source: Chapter 12, Department of Energy and EPA
11.Foreign Policy and National Security
Trump Administration Action:
Opposed a U.N. resolution demanding Russian withdrawal from Ukraine.
Resumed high-level talks with Russia without Ukraine’s participation.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for shifting focus away from Ukraine and prioritizing U.S. interests over foreign alliances.
Source: Chapter 6, Department of State
12.Education and Cultural Policies
Trump Administration Action:
Issued guidance recognizing only two sexes.
Threatened to cut federal funding for schools with race-based DEI programs.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Proposes rolling back gender identity policies and ending race-conscious education initiatives.
Source: Chapter 11, Department of Education
13. Election and Voting Policies
Trump Administration Action:
Ordered a review of election security efforts and reassigned officials involved in investigating foreign interference.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for tightening election security measures and eliminating federal oversight that could be perceived as undermining state-controlled election processes.
Source: Chapter 29, Federal Election Commission
14. Defense and Military
Trump Administration Action:
Ordered the Pentagon to plan 8% budget cuts over the next five years.
Reinstated service members dismissed for refusing the COVID vaccine.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Advocates for a leaner, more strategically focused military with reduced bureaucracy.
Calls for eliminating “woke” policies, including vaccine mandates for service members.
Source: Chapter 4, Department of Defense
15. Gender and Social Policies
Trump Administration Action:
Restricted gender-affirming treatments for minors.
Moved toward pushing transgender individuals out of the military.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Supports policies that define gender as strictly male or female and eliminate federal support for gender-affirming medical care.
Source: Chapter 14, DHHS
16.Foreign Aid and Global Engagement
Trump Administration Action:
Froze foreign aid payments.
Halted global mine-clearing programs.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for cutting back on foreign aid, particularly to programs it deems wasteful or contrary to U.S. interests.
Source: Chapter 9, Agency for International Development
17. Government Workforce Overhaul
Trump Administration Action:
Encouraged millions of federal workers to resign in exchange for continued pay.
Laid off thousands of employees across multiple agencies.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for dramatically reducing the federal workforce and replacing civil servants with political appointees who align with the administration’s priorities.
Source: Chapter 18, Department of Labor and Related Agencies
18. Education Policy
Trump Administration Action:
Sought to expand access to private school vouchers.
•. Project 2025 Recommendation:
Supports increasing school choice programs and promoting voucher systems as an alternative to public education.
Source: Chapter 11, Department of Education
19.Federal Regulatory Power
Trump Administration Action:
Ordered an executive review of independent agencies, asserting presidential authority over their spending.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for curbing the power of independent federal agencies and consolidating control under the executive branch.
20. Overhauling the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB)
Trump Administration Action:
Issued an executive order limiting the enforcement power of the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) and expanding right-to-work protections.
Project 2025 Recommendation:
Calls for restructuring the NLRB to limit its authority, reduce regulatory burdens on businesses, and shift power away from unions.
Source: Chapter 18, Department of Labor and Related Agencies
The Impact So Far
As of February 26, 2025, the Trump administration has implemented several policies aligned with the Project 2025: Mandate for Leadership blueprint. While it’s early to fully assess their long-term impacts, initial observations indicate notable effects in various sectors:
1. Economic and Consumer Confidence
Recent data shows a significant decline in consumer confidence, with the index dropping to its lowest point in eight months. This downturn is largely attributed to concerns over potential inflationary pressures stemming from the administration’s policies, including proposed tariffs and budget cuts. Such apprehensions suggest that these economic strategies may be contributing to public uncertainty and market volatility. reuters.com
2. Research and Development (R&D) Funding
The administration’s decision to reduce funding for federal research institutions, such as the National Institutes of Health and the National Science Foundation, has raised concerns about the future of American innovation. Experts warn that these cutbacks could hinder scientific progress and diminish the nation’s competitive edge in technology and healthcare sectors. ft.com
3. Healthcare and Social Services
A narrowly passed budget proposal includes significant cuts to Medicaid, totaling approximately $800 billion. This reduction could potentially impact millions of low-income individuals who rely on Medicaid for healthcare services. Additionally, the proposal outlines $2 trillion in spending reductions over the next decade, which may affect various social programs. theguardian.com
4. Deregulation and Executive Authority
The issuance of an executive order titled “Ensuring Lawful Governance and Implementing the President’s ‘Department of Government Efficiency’ Deregulatory Initiative” aims to rescind or modify existing regulations. This move is intended to reduce bureaucratic oversight but has sparked debate over potential risks to public health, safety, and environmental protections. skadden.com
5. Public Opinion and Political Climate
Public sentiment appears divided regarding these policy changes. While a significant portion of Republican supporters express optimism about the administration’s direction, a substantial number of Democrats anticipate negative outcomes. This polarization reflects broader debates about the potential benefits and drawbacks of the current policy trajectory. pewresearch.org
In summary, the initial implementation of policies aligned with Project 2025 has led to measurable shifts in economic indicators, funding priorities, and public opinion. Ongoing analysis will be essential to fully understand the long-term consequences of these actions across various sectors.
(This is the sixth in a series of AI-generated analyses of the right-wing manifesto “Project 2025: Mandate for Leadership, the Conservative Promise.“)
“Project 2025: Mandate for Leadership” proposes significant reforms to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), with a particular focus on immigration enforcement.
The proposal suggests breaking up DHS or merging core immigration agencies (USCIS, ICE, CBP) into a single entity. Breaking up DHS could streamline operations but might create communication gaps. Merging agencies could improve coordination but require restructuring efforts.
The plan emphasizes prioritizing border security and immigration enforcement by allocating more resources to CBP and ICE and potentially reducing resources for other DHS functions like FEMA. This could strengthen border control but might weaken other DHS responsibilities.
Immigration Enforcement
The proposal to dismantle DHS and recreate a Border Security and Immigration Agency (BSIA) could centralize resources and streamline border security efforts. Combining CBP and ICE might improve coordination and information sharing. Among the suggestions:
Increasing funding for Border Patrol (BP) to hire more agents and reduce processing times for those already caught (meaning less chance of slipping through).
Combining Border Patrol and Air and Marine Operations (OAM) for more efficient resource deployment and better chances of interception.
Restarting and expanding the use of horseback patrols, which are known to be more effective in some terrains.
A single nationwide detention standard with less focus on detainee comfort, potentially including temporary facilities like tents.
Creating an authority akin to the Title 42 Public Health authority that was used during the COVID-19 pandemic to expel illegal aliens across the border immediately when certain non- health conditions are met, such as the “loss of operational control” of the border.
Leadership and Management
The proposal calls for appointing more political leaders within DHS, potentially affecting agency priorities and decision-making processes. This could lead to faster implementation of the administration’s agenda but might raise concerns about politicization of immigration enforcement.
The document emphasizes increasing transparency and sharing information with Congress. This could improve public trust but might require balancing transparency with national security concerns.
Overall Impact
The proposed changes could significantly transform DHS. Here are some potential consequences:
Increased Effectiveness: Stronger border security, stricter enforcement, and improved vetting could enhance national security and reduce illegal immigration.
Efficiency: Streamlining operations and restructuring could potentially improve efficiency and reduce costs.
Resource Strain: Increased enforcement and potential budget cuts for other functions could strain DHS resources.
Legal Challenges: Some proposed policy changes might face legal challenges, delaying implementation.
Public Perception: Increased enforcement and detention could lead to negative perceptions of DHS, particularly among immigrant communities.
The effectiveness of these proposals in deterring illegal immigration and improving national security is debatable. Stricter enforcement could negatively impact certain industries reliant on immigrant labor.
Overall, the proposed reforms could significantly impact the way DHS handles immigration enforcement. While increased focus and resources could potentially strengthen border security and reduce fraud, there are potential drawbacks regarding cost, humanitarian concerns, and legal challenges.
It’s important to consider these potential consequences when evaluating the merits of these proposals.
Scary Quote
“ICE should end its current cozy deference to educational institutions and remove security risks from the program. This requires working with the Department of State to eliminate or significantly reduce the number of visas issued to foreign students from enemy nations.”
In other words, all of you foreign students protesting the U.S.’s position on Gaza now, wait until Trump becomes president again.
Further Reading
An excellent article from The Nation on Project 2025’s potential impact on immigration.
About the Author
Ken Cuccinelli, who was a top immigration official in the Trump administration, was a founding member of a group in 2007 that described undocumented immigrants as “foreign invaders” responsible for “serious infectious diseases, drug running, gang violence, human trafficking, terrorism.”
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